In which I am perplexed by men (as per usual, I suppose…)

Oh hello, internets…I have a blog, you know.  Have you forgotten about me?

Anyway.  So I work with this boy (on a bit of a side note, it is probably inappropriate to continue to refer to the male characters in my life as boys, given that I am theoretically a mature adult in my mid twenties…but whatever).  At first I didn’t think about him at all, really.  I was in the midst of obsessing over several other things, and also was certainly NOT trying to make anything resembling lasting ties at my place of employment, since I harbor deep-seeded hatred for it and had hoped to not be working there for very long (the best laid plans…).  He came down to the office I hang out in when I am not doing any work for one thing or another, and we had a conversation that I barely remember, other than the fact that I thought he was most definitely overly friendly, and therefore to be avoided.

Fast forward to the week of Christmas.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I work in a school.  Students and teachers began winter break on December 18th.  Support staff, however, only get the 11 federal holidays off, and therefore I was required to be at work even though there were no teachers and no students for me to work with (but that is a rant for another time).  I spent the 4 days before Christmas doing some volunteer work, watching episodes of Veronica Mars online, etc., and saw about 4 other people the entire week.  Christmas eve, though, the custodians closed the building about an hour early, and while I was in the office, clocking out and quickly filling out a leave slip so that I could pretend to go to a doctor’s appointment but really go to a job interview, in walked the boy, and immediately expressed surprise that I had been there the whole week.  He started rambling on rather awkwardly about something or other, I really wasn’t paying attention, as I was trying to fill out the leave slip, but basically he was saying (I think) that I shouldn’t have been hiding out watching episodes of Veronica Mars because it’s not like there was any work to hide from in the first place, and he was sorry that he hadn’t known that I had been there.  The only thing I specifically remember him saying was, “I’m not sorry that you’re here,” or something to that effect, which struck me as a sort of strange and sort of awkward thing to say.

Why am I relating all of these random and seemingly useless tidbits to you, you ask?  Well, upon relaying this story of awkwardness to my mom over the holidays, she asked me if the boy was cute, and I had to admit that he was.  This, believe it or not, despite my boy crazy nature, had not really crossed my mind before, and I decided that I needed to gather further information about said boy.  Of course, having decided this means that the fates immediately started working against me; I returned to school with the mission of casually running into him more often in the hallways, sitting by him at staff meetings, etc.  Well, he’s rarely in the hallways when I am, and he hasn’t been at the last few department and staff meetings, and he wasn’t at our professional development yesterday, which made me sad.

Luckily, we don’t have to rely solely on actual human interaction for information these days.  I decided the best method for preliminary stalking was my old friend the internet.  A google search resulted in some surprising and some frustrating information.  First of all, there are a surprising number of people who share this relatively unusual name.  Second, a perusal of a myspace page led to a disturbing revelation about his level of religiousness (and, no offense to religious people out there, but in my experience, more often than not, seriously religious can also mean seriously crazy).  And, finally, his facebook page is, of course, friends only.  So I went out on a limb, I added him as a friend, and…thus began the waiting game.

This search for internet information started like a week ago, or something, and so I spent a week wondering why, exactly, he wasn’t just confirming my friendship already!  I mean, we’ve had several conversations at school, he’s definitely been the friendlier person, what’s up with the whole internet ignorance thing?

So this afternoon, after a solid few hours of West Wing episodes, I decide it’s time to check my e-mail, and, lo and behold…”the boy has sent you a message on facebook…”.  I’m thinking, of course, that he’s finally confirmed my friendship, that I can find out if he’s a religious crazy, or at least if he has a girlfriend or likes the Red Sox.  But no.  Still no confirmation.  Instead, a message that says, “Hello Boycrazy.  How are you doing today?  What is on your mind?”

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!  Ok, I know I shouldn’t really be all worked up, he’s trying to start a conversation, I guess, which is nice…but I don’t really want to talk to him until I know more about him.  Plus, there are already a disturbing number of reasons I think any type of relationship would not work out between us.  The whole religion thing is definitely one.  The fact that I’m a cynical, sarcastic northerner and he’s a slightly awkward southern gentlemanly type is another-our dispositions will probably not mesh well.

I know I’m totally getting ahead of myself with all of this-we’ve barely spoken and I’m already dissecting our possible future relationship to look for flaws.  But, nonetheless, I have found this whole experience to be somewhat bizarre-from our first conversation to that brief facebook message.  And it just makes me wonder if there are ANY normal guys left out in the world…and where, exactly, I could find one of them.

I’ve rambled long enough on this completely unimportant topic.  On a completely unrelated note, I’ve recently discovered the food blog We Are Not Martha; as such, I am now obsessed, and must go make cinnamon rolls. Until next time.

I have a crush on EVERY boy.

Ok, not every boy.  But definitely this one:

(Shhh, don’t tell him!  Thank God this is an anonymous blog.)  Anyway.  This is J.  We’ve been friends since high school.  I’ve sort of loved him for almost all of our friendship (whether or not he knows this is up for debate; he is either completely oblivious, or has gracefully avoided acknowledging it in the hope that one day it would pass).  Here are a few reasons J is one of my all time favorite real life boys:

-he is willing to spend 20 hours on a train to spend 12 hours of Thanksgiving with me

-he is very handy in the kitchen (and, conveniently, willing to do all the things I don’t like doing, like peel things or rinse off the turkey).

-not only is he willing to do all of my least favorite kitchen things, but he also goes above and beyond, doing things like washing the sink and putting all the tupperware in the cabinet where it belongs, but never really ends up, because my roommates and I can’t reach the shelf it goes on.

-he does lots of little things that aren’t so important in this day and age, but are still just nice.  Like always holding the door for me, moving so that he’s on the part of the sidewalk closest to the road, paying for lunch if we’re out to eat, etc.

-he’ll go do things with me that he doesn’t really want to do, just because I ask him (going to see Brokeback Mountain when all my other friends were away at college, etc).

-he is kind and considerate to everyone

-he doesn’t really care about sports, which means that we don’t have any rivalry issues.

-let’s be honest: he’s pretty easy on the eyes.

I’m sure there are a million and one more reasons that I could list, but I’m a little biased, and it would probably get pretty boring for you.  It’s always been one of my secret hopes that eventually, J would begin to feel the same way about me that I do about him, and that we would end up together (yes, I have been brainwashed by too many years of romance novels and chick flicks, but it is what it is).  For now, I’ll keep looking forward to these visits, remembering all the crazy/happy things we’ve done together, and admiring him from afar.

Top Five Fridays (one day late): World Champions Edition!

Ok, so I wrote this post yesterday, and then when I was just about finished, my computer froze and all was lost.  This threatened to ruin the good mood I’ve been in since the Yankees WON THE WORLD SERIES on Wednesday night, so I decided to post this list a day late, and watch clips from the Tickertape Parade instead of rewriting.

And now, without further ado, in honor of my boys from the Bronx finally bringing the championship trophy home to its rightful place, here is this week’s list: my five favorite current Yankees.

Number Five: Derek Jeter

I’ve never really been one of those girls who was all swoony over Jeter, and the fact that he is a Michigan fan means we never would have worked out anyway (more on that some other time), but I have always respected him as a player.  He really does seem to be the ultimate team player, not to mention his (somewhat annoying) habit of always coming through in the clutch, plus the fact that he now holds the record for the most hits made by anyone in pinstripes.  And, let’s face it, even though he’s never been the object of my particular fantasies, it’s hard to deny that he is pretty easy on the eyes.

Number Four: Mark Teixeira

Whenever I watch baseball games, I often wish players didn’t sign multi-year contracts so that at the end of a particular season, it would be easier to ‘steal’ certain good players who I would love to see play for the Yankees.  Teixeira is a player I’ve been hoping we could steal since he was on the Rangers, and I was SO happy this year when that actually happened!  He’s an incredible defensive first baseman, a switch hitter, and doesn’t seem to be one of those obnoxiously arrogant players.  I’m so glad he’s now a world champion Yankee!

Number Three: Jorge Posada

To be perfectly honest, when Posada first started to take over regular catching duties for the Yankees, I was not a huge fan.  Girardi was the catcher when I first started to really care about/pay attention to baseball, and I do not like change.  I was not happy that this young guy with big ears was stealing Girardi’s spot, and I did not plan to change my mind about him.  But Posada won me over with his great baseball skills and adorable children.  Plus, now that there are so few Yankees left from those glory days of the late 90s, I have to hold on to whomever I can!

Number Two: Robinson Cano

How can you not love Robinson?  He is absolutely adorable, and a fantastic baseball player to boot.  He’s also pretty much the perfect age for me-so I will to continue to hold out hope that he doesn’t have a long distance girlfriend back in the Dominican Republic and that one day, maybe, our eyes will meet across a crowded room (or baseball stadium)…

Number One: Mariano Rivera

How could this go to anyone but Mariano Rivera?  He seems to never age, he is practically flawless, and I find it hard to believe that there will ever be a closer who will live up to his accomplishments.  There is no doubt that the Yankees would not have made it through the postseason without him, and the Yankees will not be the same when the time comes for him to retire.

Honorable mentions go to Andy Pettitte, who probably would have made the list had he not abandoned the Yankees for several years to go play in Houston, and Bernie Williams, who is still my favorite Yankee of all time, and who is really the only thing that could have made this World Series win better.

fair warning: I’m going to whine a lot.

Well, I’m in the mood to do some complaining.  So here is a list of things that currently annoy me:

-High school students who have no real concept of geography (examples: mistaking Austria for Australia, saying that Russia is not the largest country in the world, because Antarctica and Texas are larger.  Yes, I am serious).

-Students who cheat rather than legitimately trying to do their work.

-General education teachers who basically refuse to accomodate special ed students, then claim that it’s fair to fail them. Example:  I work with this kid who tries really hard, but has a lot of things working against him, and works VERY slowly.  He did not finish a LOT of assignments during the last marking period, but he started every single one of them.  If the teacher had taken his learning disability into account and had him answer 5-7 questions rather than 10-12, he would have completed almost all of them!  Not to mention that the teacher doesn’t modify his tests at all, so these poor kids who process really slowly and read at a 3rd grade level and can’t stay focused for terribly long periods of time have to take a test that is 87 questions long that the gen ed kids even have a hard time completing!

-Kids who are super, super smart, but who do not put forth the effort necessary to do well in school.  Dear anonymous 10th grade boy: I understand that you have a number of adult responsibilities that make life more difficult for you, but when you come in and show me that you got a 98 on your geometry test, when you can recite the details of a short story with the accuracy of someone with a photographic memory, do not complain that you can’t do the work, that you’re going to fail.  YOU SHOULD NOT BE FAILING.  Come to school, be more organized, make school a priority over extracurricular activities. Part of being a responsible adult means being accountable for your actions.

Oh, I’m sorry, do I complain about my job too much?  Here are some other things:

-Republicans.  Seriously.  I’m kind of shocked and appalled by how many I know.  And yes, I know they’re not all bad, and I do have close friends with conservative tendencies, and I respect their opinions.  But seriously-rejoicing in the fact that someone who literally wants to reverse the decades of progress made in regard to the equality of women is now the governor of Virginia makes me seriously question your intelligence, republicans.  Additionally, you can go ahead and complain about the current presidential administration all you want, but here are some interesting things to note: thus far, no terrorist attacks.  No completely unjustified wars.  Progress toward making healthcare affordable and available to ALL Americans.  A leader who can actually formulate complete sentences and doesn’t make up words.  Yes, the country still has a lot of problems to deal with.  Please remind yourselves of the fact that it is someone from your particular party who caused a lot of these problems.

-Pedro Martinez.  What an arrogant asshole.  You couldn’t beat the Yankees in the 2003 ALCS, Pedro, and you aren’t going to beat them tonight.  No one likes you, so shut up.

-Friends who tell you they are going to visit, and then book tickets that allow them to be in the city with you for all of 12 hours.  Hello, if you’re going to come for that short a time, why even bother?  We won’t be able to do any of the fun city things, since it’s a holiday, and you sort of spoil the rest of the weekend for me, since I have to be here for that one day for you, but then the rest of the weekend no one will be around.  You could have told me ahead of time.

-The general ineptitude of Comcast.  We’ve been having issues transferring our cable bill into my name; this process has involved a trip to the actual cable office, during which they told us that we couldn’t do the name change there, we had to mail in a form, several faxed forms, and multiple angry emails and phone calls.  We were on the verge of having our cable cut off because, 2 weeks after we had faxed in the appropriate forms, the transfer of names still had not occurred, and our cable bills were still being sent to the old roommate’s parents’ home in Colorado, given that she is currently living in Cambodia.  Awesome.

I’m sure there are other things, but I just can’t think of them at the moment.  Given that there are a lot of things that annoy me (people who rag on the yankees, people who criticize my alma mater and it’s various sports teams, the general suckitude of DC drivers, the boston red sox, etc.) it’s very possible that there will be many more posts of this nature in the future.

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Top Five Fridays: Guilty Pleasure Movies

Come on, we all know everybody has them.  This week, I’ll share with you those movies which, it somewhat pains me to admit, I cannot live without.  Others might cringe at the thought at catching even a glimpse of them, but I watch them every time they come on tv (even if I also happen to own the dvds).  So, without further ado, here are my top five guilty pleasure movies.

Number Five: She’s The Man

I bought this movie on a whim one day while at the grocery store in Russia, and proceeded to watch it every day for the next four days.  I thought it would be terribly stupid, but I fell in love with this movie almost immediately.  The characters are hilarious, the soundtrack is amazing, Channing Tatum is HOT, and, as an added bonus, it’s based on Shakespeare.  What more could you want in a movie?  Also, random coincidence: when I talked to my mom later that week, I mentioned buying the movie randomly and adoring it, and it turned out that she and my sister bought the same movie on the same weekend!  Weird.

Number Four: Must Love Dogs

I chose this movie somewhat arbitrarily, because really, almost any romantic comedy starring John Cusack would fall into this category.  Serendipity, America’s Sweethearts, and, of course, the mother of all romantic comedies (and 80s movies), Say Anything…I love them all.  But really, Diane Lane is stunning in this movie; it’s as if she never ages.  And, John Cusack’s character reminds me so much of a certain boy I know that I can’t help but fall in love with him every time I watch this movie.

Number Three: High School Musical 1, 2, and 3

I’ve always been a fan of the Disney Channel’s made for tv movies (this really shouldn’t come as a shock to you).  So of course I made plans to watch High School Musical on the night it premiered.  Yes, it was cheesy (aren’t they all?), but it was also AMAZING.  And really, what high school wouldn’t be made better by spontaneous outbreaks of singing?  I was thrilled to find out they were making a sequel, and, of course, was in theaters almost immediately after the third installment came out.  They may be corny and unrealistic, but once one of these movies comes on, I can’t help but watch.

Number Two: Step Up

I love pretty much any dance story.  Center Stage.  Take the Lead.  Save the Last Dance.  Another Cinderella Story. You get the idea.  I think they all probably belong in this category, as much as I love them.  Step Up not only features the wonderfully talented (by which I mean incredibly attractive) Channing Tatum, but also is one of those great “boy from the wrong side of tracks meets privileged girl they fall in love conflict ensues but eventually everything works out” stories that I can’t get enough of.  Plus the music is great.

Number One: A Walk to Remember

I can’t explain it, but I can’t help but love this movie.  I watch it every SINGLE time it’s on tv, and every time I cry my eyes out, even though it is a) fictional, and b) predictable.  It is just the ultimate love story, to me, and that’s all I can say about it.  Oh, except that this movie also made me really want to get married here:

Well, I’m sure this provided you with an entertaining look into my crazy head.  Stay tuned for next Friday, when I’m sure I’ll think of some other ridiculous list to make…in the meantime, what are your guilty pleasures?

SO excited!

I have good news!  I got a job!!!!!  Yes, it’s a crappy job, and it really sucks that I won’t be using my Master’s degree and I’ll be earning next to nothing, but I will have health insurance, and I’ll be working in a school so I’ll get those vacations off, and I’ll be getting some useful experience, I guess.  At the very least, this buys me some time to really figure out what I want to do (this will probably require going back to school to get another degree), while earning some money, at least, and staying in my favorite city.

And yes, getting this job means I get to stay in DC!  I was very close to packing up and moving back in with the parents come September, but now I don’t have to do that.  However, my lease is up come 9/1, so I am looking for a new place to live.  Since I will be working at a DC school, I would really like to live within the city limits-if anyone knows of anyone looking for a roommate, please let me know!

In addition to this immediate good news, I also have something to look forward to in the somewhat distant future: Thanksgiving plans!  You all remember GOMD, right? Well, last summer, he was moving away from home right as I was moving back, and I was sad that I was losing one of my closest friends so soon after my not-so-triumphant return to the east coast. When I finally made the move down to DC, he promised to visit me, but has yet to make good on said promise, citing poverty as his main excuse. But today we made tentative plans to have Thanksgiving together! (It’s still a little up in the air, as whether we are in DC or his new city will depend on which one of us is better at saving our pennies over the next few months.) This is exciting for several reasons: first, it will be so nice to see him again, and spending a major holiday together is always good for strengthening the bonds of friendship, right? Second, I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner, which makes me both nervous and ecstatic at the same time! Even though it’s months away, I was already looking at recipes today…I know. Super dorky. But that’s me. So anyway. Definitely something to look forward to.

Getting back to reality…today was supposed to be a productive day, but that didn’t exactly happen.  I had planned on cleaning and applying to jobs (yes, I am planning to keep looking for other jobs, on the off-chance that something I’m really interested in comes along) and looking for new apartments, but all I really did was watch baseball, and make a fruit salad.  I also did the dishes, but that’s only the tip of the cleaning iceberg, especially since I’m moving out in a month.  There’s always next weekend, I suppose…

Anyway.  I suppose that’s all for now.  Back to the grind tomorrow.  I hope you all had lovely weekends!

Top Five Fridays

So.  I really like lists.  I also really like blogs that have some sort of regular weekly installment, a la Maxie’s Would You Rather Wednesdays, or TMI Thursdays, brought to you by LiLu. Thus, an idea was born: Top Five Fridays. While these lists are unlikely to gross you out or make you cringe in embarrassment (although who knows, really; that could definitely happen), they will provide some insight into my crazy mind, and perhaps even make you laugh. And so, without further ado, I bring you the first installment of Top Five Fridays:

Top Five Totally Dorky TV Characters Who Are Actually Totally Hot

Number Five: Charlie Eppes, Numb3rs

David Krumholtz has come a long way from the days of 10 Things I Hate About You, my friends, and let me tell you, math has never seemed so sexy.  I don’t actually understand everything that goes on during an episode of Numb3rs, but I’ve always valued intelligence as much as attractiveness, and Charlie Eppes, with his sweet smile and amazing brain, makes me appreciate math more than any class ever did.

Number Four: Seth Cohen, The O.C.

How could you not love the awkward dorkiness of Seth Cohen?  He loves video games, and emo music, and has a hopeless lifelong crush on Summer, and all of these things do nothing but make me love him even more.  Sigh.  I would totally date him, if he existed in real life. (Note: Adam Brody, if you happen to be reading this, I don’t just love Seth-I would date you too.)

Number Three: Sam Seaborn, The West Wing

Recording secretary of the Princeton Gilbert and Sullivan Society?  Check.  Unflinching idealism?  Check.  Incredible intelligence?  Check.  A genuinely nice guy?  Check.  Despite accidentally sleeping with a callgirl, Sam Seaborn is quite possibly the perfect man (and Rob Lowe is no slouch either).  I would have no problem volunteering to help out his political campaign…but I’d much rather be his first lady.

Number Two: Justin Russo, Wizards of Waverly Place

I’m sorry, but you had to expect that my Disney Channel obsession was going to rear its ugly head at some point, right?  Wizards of Waverly Place is easily my favorite show on the Disney Channel, in large part because of this guy.  Justin, the oldest Russo child, and easily the most booksmart, is a stickler for rules and can be somewhat condescending at times.  But he’s always around to help his siblings out of a tough spot, and is very funny in his own dorky way.  Added bonus: in real life, David Henrie has three tattoos.  I love tattooed guys!

Number One: Chuck Bartowski, Chuck

Oh, man.  I think that Chuck, in addition to being the hottest dorky guy, is the tv character I most often wish existed in real life.  His awkwardness is both endearing and amusing, and the fact that he is intelligent enough to get himself and others out of the messes he often creates is very, very hot.  Plus, he hasn’t let the spy world ruin him; he isn’t afraid of having real emotions or letting the people he cares about know that they’re important to him.  As much as I hope he and Sarah finally get together next season, I would rather he pop out of the tv screen and into my life…

So there you have it.  Five hugely dorky tv characters who I would definitely date, if they existed in real life.  I hope you enjoyed my first Top Five Friday.  Who are your favorite dorky guys (or gals)?  What other top five lists would you like to see?

To die, to sleep; to sleep: perchance to dream

No, this is not a post about committing suicide.

It is, in fact, about the inner workings of my subconscious, or, to be more precise, a summary of yet another strange dream I had recently.

My magical future husband? I think I need to see a dream therapist...

So this dream is particularly special, because a) I apparently work in the West Wing (aka for the president, who is, in fact, Martin Sheen [or perhaps Jed Bartlett; that fact was really not made known during the course of the dream]), and b) because I am getting married.  To Justin Russo.  Who is, in fact, a wizard.

The entirety of the dream takes place in the 20 minutes or so before my wedding is to begin.  Apparently, for reasons unbeknownst to me (and, really, pretty much unimaginable), the President (Martin Sheen/Jed Bartlett) has had to have his leg amputated.  I, again, for some unknown reason, am in charge of the prosthetic leg (yeah, this is where it starts to get weird/crazy.  A) I do not know why the President is not WEARING the prosthetic leg.  B) This is not a normal prosthetic leg;  it is short and unmoving and made out of plaster or ceramic or something else that one could easily make a vase out of.  C) The leg, apparently, is to reside in my office.  D)  My future husband, the wizard, has bewitched the leg [which is hollow, if I hadn't mentioned] to contain a little gnome-like thing, which can talk to me while the leg is hanging out in my office [note: the whole bewitched thing is the only reason I know I am marrying Justin Russo.  He does not actually make an appearance in the dream, as we do not actually get to the marriage ceremony.  But, trust me, I did not just make this up-it's one of those things I just know, as often happens in dreams]).

So, during this whole pre-wedding period, I feel the need to share the whole leg-situation (yes, the leg is at the wedding) with my bff, S (who, inexplicably, is not a bridesmaid), complete with a show-and-tell thing, because she was and is obsessed with The West Wing, and thus is just over the moon that Martin Sheen/Jed Bartlett is at the wedding (yeah, the whole reality/tv crossover thing gets kind of confusing).  Then, all of my bridesmaids feel the need to parade into the church in a rehearsal of sorts.  They are wearing lavender and mint green chiffon dresses, which I would NEVER choose, and consist of 4 girls from high school to whom I no longer talk, plus my sister and my friend L.  So, 2 out of 6 isn’t bad, right?

At this point, I am hanging out with my bridesmaids in the church, and guests are starting to arrive (so, I have no idea why we are not behind the scenes at this point.  I apparently have no qualms about the guests seeing ME before the ceremony, I just don’t want them to see my dress, as I am covering myself up with a large furry white blanketlike thing).  So friends and relatives start to trickle in, including this very snobby, uppity couple who think they are more important than they are (note: these are not actually people I know in real life, but in fact are the people who played the Baron and Baroness who want to take back the crown in The Princess Diaries); this couple demands to be seated in the very front of the church.  They also have a daughter, named Portia, who is not that pretty, but because of her parents’ belief in their own superiority, thinks she can and should have whatever she wants.  And what she wants is my high school friend and long-time crush, to be know as Guy of My Dreams (GOMD).

So they come in, and I’m sitting in the pews under my big flurry blanket with my bridesmaids, nervously watching everyone arrive for my wedding, and apparently, there was some debate among the Van Uppity couple as to whether GOMD was good enough to date their precious Portia, because they then very ceremoniously announce to GOMD, “you may date our daughter.”  So Portia grabs GOMD’s hand, and says, “are we dating?  are we a couple?”  And GOMD takes his hand back and says, through clenched teeth, “not until they are very, very married.”

Then he looked over at me, watching him (because I had, of course, heard the whole thing), and gave me this beautiful smile, encompassing so many emotions and saying so many things, as smiles are wont to do; this particular smile said, “I am resigned to the fact that this is happening, I am glad because I want you to be happy, but I am so sad because I always thought that we would end up together.”

And then I woke up.

So yeah.  I’m sure you don’t care that much about the minutiae of my crazy dreams, or whether my bridesmaids were all wrong, or how I could tell that a smile said all of those things.  But to me, the smile was the best and most important part of the dream, and the part I can’t stop thinking about.  There will be many posts to come on GOMD, I am sure, but for now, I’ll just be thinking about that smile.

Plus, prosthetic legs, magic, old crushes, ugly bridesmaid dresses, and famous people?  What more could you ask for in a dream?  I wonder what Freud would say…

Narcissistic much?

While perusing the interwebs the other day, I came across this article, via liebchen’s blog.  In short, the article claims that twentysomethings are much more narcissistic these days, and it is because of this that they are delaying marriage/meaningful relationships.  Here’s a particularly favorite excerpt of mine:

Now that people think more highly of themselves, expectations of what a relationship should be like have skyrocketed into the realm of superlatives.

Twentysomethings not only expect to waltz into high-level career positions right out of college, they also expect partners who have the moral fortitude of Nelson Mandela, the comedic timing of Stephen Colbert, the abs of Hugh Jackman, and the hair of Patrick Dempsey.

Being a self-involved, narcissistic blogger myself, I thought it would only be appropriate to throw in my two cents on the subject, particularly in how it relates to, of course, me.

-While getting married later in life may be the general trend these days, I have to say that from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t seem like that’s the case at ALL.  Several close friends of mine have tied the knot recently, not to mention a whole flood of acquaintances, and among those who haven’t, most are in pretty serious relationships and would like nothing more than to get married.  Very few people I know seem to be happy being single, focusing on a career, and seeking nothing but instant gratification.   Therefore, either the people I know are much less narcissistic than the norm (which makes me feel a tad too self-absorbed, as it were), or the trend is less prevalent than these experts think.  (Then again, at least, for the time being, I eschew the twitter phenomenon, which makes me feel a little better.)

-Having been unemployed for over a year now, I deal with job rejection on a daily basis, ranging from organizations I’ve dreamed of working with to the local Target.  I have to say that immediate entry into a high-level position has never been an assumption I’ve made.  Employment, upon completion of a graduate degree from a prestigious institution?  Sure.  I assumed that.  But I also assumed I’d start off in an entry-level position, doing all the grunt work and menial tasks I could hope for, and slowly working my way up the career ladder until I attained a position of respect (but not necessarily prestige, power, or riches-I’ve always been oriented toward public service, and known that it really would take marriage to a movie star to achieve fame and fortune on that level.)  I realize that this is a bit of a tangent from the ultimate point of the article, but I just wanted it to be made known that not all of us narcissistic twentysomethings expect everything to be handed to us, career- or otherwise.

-As for the whole high expectations thing, let me just say that I do indeed have high expectations in terms of finding a suitable partner, but they are not newly acquired as a result of my ascension into the ranks of the narcissistic twentysomethings.  I have had high expectations for my future husband for as long as I can remember.  In fact, I was probably born with them.  Were they helped along by my media consumption?  Absolutely (I happen to be a big fan of chick lit and romantic comedies.  Sue me).  Are they a result of my own selfishness?  Probably, at least a little.  Of course, there’s a difference between having these expectations and assuming that they’ll all be fulfilled.  Yes, I hope that my future husband will be a combination of Derek Jeter, Jim Halpert, Edward Cullen, and Martin Luther King, Jr. (and yes, I realize that some of those people are, in fact, fictional).  But I also recognize that that’s pretty much impossible, and would be happy to find someone who is kind, funny, intelligent, and has that whole nerdy-hot thing going on (still sort of lofty, but hey, a girl can dream, right?).  Anyway, the point is, my high expectations are a result of who I am (and who I’ve always been), not my generation’s general self-absorption and belief that we deserve everything we want, AND I am well aware that having these expectations means I’ve been setting myself up for disappointment since, well, birth.

-So this whole rampant narcissism thing is unhealthy for our relationships because it causes us to lack either the ability or the desire (or perhaps both) to compromise, and compromise is essential to a healthy and successful relationship.  Relationships (and life, in general, I would say) aren’t always about satisfying our own desires and making sure we are happy; they often require sacrifice, and putting aside one’s own needs for the needs of others.  I agree wholeheartedly with this.  Compromise is a vital part of all relationships, not just those of a romantic nature, but those with friends, family, and society as a whole as well.  Part of what separates us from less highly-evolved mammals is our ability to not think only of ourselves, to make sacrifices, to put others first.  If we all allowed ourselves to be taken over by narcissism, to become completely self-involved, well, I don’t really want to imagine what the world would become.

Well, that was a random conglomeration of many disparate thoughts, all loosely related to one thought-provoking article.  To sum up, I guess, I accept the general premise of the article to be true: twentysomethings can be self-involved; many have a ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality in regard to all aspects of their lives, and this can adversely affect romantic relationships, which require compromise and sacrifice.  However, I’m just not sure I buy it.  I see so many people in healthy, mature relationships, so many happily married friends and acquaintances, and, more than that, so many people my age who are devoting their lives to helping others in some way, that I just can’t be that cynical about my generation.  Are there narcissistic, greedy twentysomethings, only interested in high-powered careers and instant gratification?  They definitely exist.  But are we all doomed to shallow, meaningless lives of self-absorption?  Maybe it’s not as dire as the so-called experts think.

Blogging FAIL (as usual)

So.  I was all ready to approach blogging with renewed vigor.  I had all these fantastic ideas for posts I was going to write, ranging from the crazy dreams I’ve been having to my internal conflicts about using Twitter, but then I got a call from the temp agency I had signed up with months ago, and, as it turns out, I am now employed (well, for the next three weeks, anyway).

So, for the past few days, instead of writing incredibly witty posts for you, I’ve spent my time fighting through rush hour traffic, doing the most mindless, soul-sucking data entry work imaginable, and then fighting the commuters again to get home.  Needless to say, blogging has not been the first thing on my mind (usually, dinner and sleep occupy that place).

While I am thrilled to be employed, if only for the short term, my posting will probably continue to be sparse while I get the hang of the whole having a job thing again.  But, I promise, you will eventually get to find out all about my obsession with the Disney Channel, the books I’ve been reading lately, etc.

On a completely different note, the shallow part of me is really unsatisfied with the aesthetics of my blog layout.  The generic wordpress layouts have all disappointed me, as the ones I really like in terms of color and graphics have all had a really narrow space for the actual blog entries, which I just don’t like.  I may have to investigate what it would take to get my own special blog layout (if only I knew things about programming…sigh…).

Well, I am off to continue my Harry Potter marathon (sadly, I did not get through book 5 before I saw the movie, and still have books 5, 6, and 7 to read before I can really move on with my life [for now, that is]), and figure out if the contents of my kitchen are sufficient enough to provide me with today’s meals, or if shopping is necessary.  Enjoy the remainder of your weekend!

What I’ve been doing with my time.

So.  In preparation for this:

I decided to reread this:

Which sort of spurred on a flurry of Harry-related obsession.  After rereading this book, I had to read the seventh book.  Then, last weekend, the first four movies were all on tv.  I watched them, of course, which made me want to watch the fifth movie, which just made me more anxious for Half Blood Prince (are you noticing a trend here?).  So, I reread the sixth book again.  And then decided to just start at the very beginning.  I’m about halfway through Chamber of Secrets right now, and, due to the fact that I have very little else to do, am hoping to get through the 5th book before I see the new movie on Sunday.

I’m very excited to see Half Blood Prince, not only because I’m currently going through a bout of Harry hysteria, but also because I will be reuniting with a dear high school friend who I haven’t seen in forever.  Because she works as a bartender, we couldn’t go the day it opened, so I’m anxiously awaiting the arrival of the weekend (and avoiding some of my similarly-obsessed friends who’ve already seen the movie), when we’ll have a delicious lunch downtown and then feed our Harry obsession

So, in case there you were wondering what I’ll be doing between now and Sunday, it will probably involve reading Harry Potter!

So. Let’s try this again, shall we?

Well.  My attempts at blogging thus far have been wholly unsuccessful.  Despite the fact that I entertain myself day in and day out with every television show under the sun, a fair amount of internet gossip, reading endless blogs, pretending I’m going to start knitting again, avoiding any sort of cleaning, and rereading Harry Potter again and again, my life itself is not really entertaining enough to maintain an interesting blog.

Nonetheless, I shall persevere.  I despised using blogger, and hope that a switch over to wordpress, and a much better blog title, will stimulate the creative juices.  I’m still looking for a job, still lurking on the perimeter of blogland, still sort of stagnating here-but perhaps this new website, the smattering of job interviews I’ve gone on of late, and my slightly more active social life will spur on a new burst of creativity and bravery.

Anyway.  If you happen to randomly stumble upon this blog, I hope you’ll stick around and wait for the fun to really begin.  But, if nothing else, at least I’ll have a record of my misadventures in unemployment to look back on when I’m old and gray.

I promise to start posting on a more regular basis, even if it’s only about mindless minutiae, and, well, welcome to my mind

sweet dreams are made of this…

So it’s been a while since I’ve written anything. This is due to a number of factors-first, I don’t have a very exciting life. I didn’t get the job I wrote about last time, and that sort of sent me into a downward spiral of depression and self-loathing and worthlessness, since I am now STILL unemployed almost a year after my graduation. So my life mostly consists of searching for jobs, doing other online things, watching tv, and trying not to spend money. It is really very uneventful and unexciting, and I don’t feel like I really have any reason to have a blog.

Second, since I wanted to try to keep this anonymous, I don’t think anyone reads it, which means I am even less motivated to write anything. Let’s face it, anyone who decides to start a blog is at least a little inherently narcissistic, so of course I would prefer to write something that people actually want to read. And although I read a LOT of other blogs, I’m what most people would call a ‘lurker’- I read, but I don’t spend time commenting and becoming internet friends with all of these other bloggers. So I don’t really know the rules of blog etiquette-I don’t want to really start commenting on everyone’s blog posts, because while I find them highly entertaining, I don’t often have an opinion of my own to add, and I think it would take time away from job searching, etc. But I also don’t want to leave comments/messages simply to get people over to my site, since I just feel like that’s wrong. And I don’t want to tell people I know about it-I’m sure some of them would want to read, but I kind of like the freedom of being able to say whatever I want without worrying about offending people I know in real life.

So why am I back, you ask? Why didn’t I completely abandon the blog after 4 measly posts? Well, I had a CRAZY dream recently (crazy in my world, anyway). And I wanted to document it for posterity, because it was too good to be forgotten (unfortunately, I’ve had several really good/crazy dreams of late, at least 2 of which have involved the cast of Grey’s Anatomy…I only wish I had been more proactive about recording those).

So anyway. If you’ve read any of the handful of earlier posts on this blog, you know that I like this boy. Since ‘boy who I like’ is a little cumbersome to write every single time I want to mention him, let’s give him a nickname (I LOVE nicknames). Hmm…I’m struggling to come up with a good one…for now we’ll call him gtboy (if we ever become friends, real or internet, perhaps I will explain the logic of that choice). Anyway, gtboy’s birthday was sometime this week, and surprisingly, my subconscious was aware enough to recognize this fact and construct a dream around it.

So I don’t remember all the details, but the dream took place in my parents’ neighborhood, which had been miraculously transported to the DC area. So friends and I, including gtboy, had gathered together on gtboy’s birthday, not to celebrate him, but rather to attend a country music festival of sorts. I’m not sure exactly what was going on, whether the actual performances at the festival were going to be taking place later, or whether it wasn’t about playing music at all, but rather just a bunch of country stars hanging out with normal people in my parents’ backyard, but anyway. There was no music happening. So people were hanging out in and around my parents’ house (I assume they were friends, although I don’t remember who exactly was there, other than the stars and gtboy). All of a sudden the stars sort of trickled away, and it was just us normal people-and this ‘person in charge’ came out and said that the stars had all gone to use the hot tub in the neighbors’ yard (our across-the-street neighbors have an above-ground pool, which in my dream had inexplicably turned into a pool-sized hot tub), and whoever got to the hot tub first would get to go out to dinner that night with this one particular band, which was already enjoying the hot tub.

So I debated whether or not I wanted to actually participate in this crazy manhunt type activity; eventually I decided dinner with the band would be worth it, and I got a late start, but since it was my parents’ neighborhood, I knew that running the opposite of the way everyone else had gone, up the hill in our front yard and across the street, was actually a faster way to get to the hot tub, and so I got there first and won dinner with the band! Then more of my friends and more country stars trickled in, and we were all just hanging out in the hot tub, me, gtboy, some other unidentifiable friends, Taylor Swift, Billy Currington, Jason Aldean, and a band called Yes (which was not the British prog-rock band of the 70s, but rather a country band-strange, I know).

We hung out for a while, splashing around and drinking and flirting with the male country stars and discussing Taylor Swift’s choice of bathing suit, and then, all of a sudden, we were no longer in the hot tub, but all standing around on a street in DC, somewhere near DuPont Circle I think, again sans country stars, just chatting and whatnot. Then, randomly, while we’re all talking, gtboy kisses me on the cheek and invites me to go out to dinner with him to celebrate his birthday!!! I, of course, say yes, because I apparently like him in my dream as well as in real life, but then I remember that I have to go out to dinner with the band tonight, since I won. However, I ask him if he wants to come along, even though I’m not sure how the band will feel about that, since several members had been flirting with me earlier at the hot tub (yes, I’m apparently quite the catch in dreamland), but he agrees, and all seems fine and good, and I am very happy…

…and then, I woke up. Somewhat disappointed, because I didn’t actually get to have my dinner with the band and/or gtboy, but still, I haven’t had a dream this random in a while. First of all, I NEVER dream about guys I like. When I was younger, I used to BEG my mind/the powers that be/whoever to let me dream about whoever I was crushing on that week, and it would NEVER happen. But gtboy has appeared in no less than 4 dreams since I met him not so long ago, although none were quite as weird as this one. Second of all, WHY were we hanging out at my parents’ house? Why weren’t the country stars singing? How did my neighborhood end up in DC? My retelling of it may not make it seem that interesting, but when I woke up, I was just baffled.

So anyway. My waking life is uneventful, but at least every once in a while I have a random dream I can write about. And now I have to go clean my apartment, because a friend of mine is coming to visit tomorrow! (So maybe I will have some interesting stories to tell after all.)

Some random thoughts.

-I had forgotten how incredibly beautiful Jacoby Ellsbury is. Why, oh why, does he have to be on the Red Sox???

-Tonight was the tv premiere of Bridge to Terabithia. I have a love-hate relationship with this book (and movie); I think it’s a great story, and was definitely one of my favorites when I was younger, but I don’t really understand the need to include such incredible sadness in what is essentially a children’s book (don’t even get me started on the last few books of the Harry Potter series). But even though I know the sadness is coming, I can’t resist reading/watching/re-reading/re-watching. Children’s seemingly limitless imagination and capacity for kindness are always amazing, and this book is such a good display of these qualities, all wrapped up in such a captivating story. Anyway, I had originally hoped that people would want to come over to watch the movie, but I’m kind of glad that didn’t work out, given the fact that I still cry my eyes out at the ending

-I was actually relatively productive today; I cleaned my whole kitchen (I was beginning to run out of essential dishes like plates) AND made a real dinner. For the past week or so, I’ve been completely avoiding grocery shopping, and either eating completely inappropriate meals (ice cream for breakfast anyone?) or getting food out. But yesterday I finally forced myself to get to the store, and so tonight I made chili and salad, and there are tons of leftovers of course, so I have dinner ready for the next few nights too! I only wish I had thought to get cornbread mix at the grocery store-cornbread goes so well with chili!

-On Friday I had a second interview with an organization I’d really, really like to work for. This interview was what I hope will be the last stage in a very long, drawn out application process. I submitted a very detailed application, which included resume, cover letter, essay (!!!), and references; then I had to complete a 90 minute project online; then I had a 90 minute first interview; and finally on Friday I had an hourlong second interview. At this point, I think not getting the job would just be completely heartbreaking, since I’ve put forth so much effort in trying to get the job. Also, I just don’t know what else I could be doing in my quest for employment-I’ve gotten to the second interview stage with several organizations, and still can’t seem to cross that threshold. This organization does work in education reform, and I just know I would love working there and that I would actually be doing something useful in the world. I will hopefully hear something sometime this week, but please cross your fingers/pray/wish me luck!

Well, I think that’s about all the new info in my life. I’m going to leave you with a great quote from Bridge to Terabithia:

“He believed her because here in the shadowy light of the stronghold everything seemed possible. Between the two of them they owned the world and no enemy, Gary Fulcher, Wanda Kay Moore, Janice Avery, Jess’s own fears and insufficiencies, nor any of the foes whom Leslie imagined attacking Terabithia, could ever really defeat them.”

I. HATE. SPIDERS.

Ok, so I’m perfectly aware of how the world works. While I’ve never loved nature’s 6- and 8-legged creatures (ask me about the time I had to let bugs crawl all over me at summer camp), I’ve always understood that they are a necessary part of a successful ecosystem, and that even though I might not like spiders and insects, they do good things for the earth, whether they pollinate flowers or serve as food for some animal a little higher up on the food chain. (Note: this does not apply to mosquitoes. I think that mother nature made a huge mistake when it came to mosquitoes-they are tiny little menaces to society, and I have to believe that our entire ecosystem would not come crashing down if they were to disappear-there are plenty of other bugs on which mosquito-eaters could feast. But, I digress.)

So anyway, the point is, while I’m not the hugest fan of creepy crawly creatures, I generally peacefully coexist with them. I don’t step on anthills or swat at bees or intentionally kill anything when it is in its natural environment (ie outdoors). It’s a whole different story, however, when these creatures encroach upon MY territory. The way I see it, I’m sort of helping natural selection along. Insects/spiders need to be smart enough not to come into my apartment, where they will most likely be killed (unless they’re on the ceiling, which I cannot reach). You know, I sometimes feel a little guilty about killing them, but honestly, I pay good money to not have a roommate (2-legged or otherwise).

Anyway, the spiders have been getting on my nerves lately. The other night I went into the bathroom and there was one staring up at me from on my toilet. Then, I was putting together a lamp for my bedroom, and all of a sudden there was a spider scurrying across my bedroom floor. I was annoyed, but you know, I do live in the suburbs, close to nature, so a few critters are to be expected once in a while (don’t get me started on mice, by the way). But today, well, today was the last straw. So, because I don’t have a job, I keep sort of weird hours. I couldn’t sleep last night, so somewhere around 3 am I put in a dvd. Eventually I went to bed, and got up around noon. I caught up on email and blogs and such, and decided that I was going to take the plunge and try my new yoga dvd. So I got up to turn on the dvd player, and there were all these tiny yellow…things all over my entertainment center. And some of them are hanging down…and some of them are MOVING. So sometime in the less than twelve hours between watching a few episodes of Felicity and when I got up, some lovely mama spider decided to use my entertainment center as her own personal maternity ward. There were literally HUNDREDS of tiny baby spiders, all crawling around and hanging down from this huge web that spread across my entire entertainment center. It was quite possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever seen (and most definitely the most disgusting thing I’ve had to clean up by myself).

Now, I read Charlotte’s Web when I was younger, and I found the baby spiders as charming as the next girl. But let me tell you, when they’re not fictional and talking to you, they are SO. NOT. CHARMING. I finished cleaning up the disaster area like an hour ago, and I still feel like things are crawling all over me, and I keep thinking I see spiders everywhere. So suffice it to say that I am now engaged in an all-out war against spiders. My whole peaceful coexistence stance is out the window, my friends. They invaded my space, and I will invade theirs. Yes, I know they’re good for the environment. But you know what? I recycle. I use CFLs. I turn off the water while I brush my teeth. So the spiders? Well, they can go (straight to hell). That is all.

well hello there.

Ok, so here goes nothing. I’ve kind of been lurking in the blogosphere for a while, reading a number of different blogs on sports and weddings and life in general, but then I realized that I had started thinking in blog posts-i.e. some anecdote/experience/random thought would play itself out in my head, and I would think, “wow, this would be a great thing to write about if I had a blog.” Add to that the fact that I really need a place to say all the things in my head that I wish I could say to actual people (you know, like, how have you made it this far in life with that antiquated worldview? or jeez, would you just ask me out already?!?!?!), and voila, a blog is born.

So here’s the deal. I’m a twentysomething girl who just moved to the Washington DC area, hoping to find a job. For now I’m going to try to keep this anonymous (because you never know what/who I’ll want to rant about), so no real names. I love sports and girly movies and used bookstores and baking, and I hope that this blog will be a place to chronicle the ups and downs of moving to and getting to know a new city, my super fun search for gainful employment, my adventures in love and life, and, of course, to air my grievances against humanity. My inner monologue kind of operates in overdrive-my mind is constantly spinning, moving from random thought to random thought, and I am a font of useless information. So I tend to ramble, I overuse parentheses and ellipses, and these entries will probably be full of run-on sentences. This is just fair warning-if you’re looking for someone who writes beautiful prose, this probably isn’t the place for you. But if you love celebrity gossip and random trivia and new recipes and rambling stories, then welcome to my (virtual) world!